OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
