I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize