that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
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