Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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