Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
