I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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