I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
