Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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