If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
