hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
