So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
