apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize