A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize