Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
