i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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