What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
