I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
