break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
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