I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
