So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
