I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
