Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
