remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
