Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
now i know why i became what i already was.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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