hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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