I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
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