If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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