He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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