absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
