I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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