Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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