I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
