I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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