when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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