She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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