**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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