not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize
