I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Im part way to drunk.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
