Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize