Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
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This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
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If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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