I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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