His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
soo... how was my night?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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