i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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