after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
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when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
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Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach