Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(843): View more from South Carolina

he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number

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(336): View more from North Carolina

as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love

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(916): View more from California

Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.

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(877): View more from

Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik

(877): View more from

Lyk hr kuds 4

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(317): View more from Indiana

why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?

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(845): View more from New York

Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

He likes bondage and spanking and shit.

(508): View more from Massachusetts

Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.

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(407): View more from Florida

Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face

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(406): View more from Montana

I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.

(701): View more from North Dakota

How the fuck do you have so much free time?

(406): View more from Montana

Polyphasic sleep schedule.

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