ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
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Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
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Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill