like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.