Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
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Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
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I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.