You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
