He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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