you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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