He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
