I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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