I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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