my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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