We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Randomize
