My nipple is on Facebook.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize