I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
