When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
