I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
