the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
