you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize