Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
