if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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